


Revenge Is A Dish Best Served In Bed

by Liliako



Category: Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: Kicking somone out of bed, M/M, Revenge Facials, Selfish lovers, assholes, cause that's a thing, douchebag!James, douchebag!Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:51:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliako/pseuds/Liliako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>James is extremely selfish in bed and basically rolls over and goes to sleep as soon as he's done leaving his partner to finish themselves off. Bonus points if James kicks them out of bed afterwards. </i><br/>I live to fill these kinkmeme prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revenge Is A Dish Best Served In Bed

**Author's Note:**

> There's a part of me that 100% believes this is how they truly are. I'm so okay with it.
> 
> Originally posted in two comments at the kinkmeme in 2011 here: http://btr-kink.livejournal.com/7099.html?thread=899771#t899771

Logan thinks James is possibly the biggest fucking tool douche bag in the universe. And that’s saying something, considering Logan has always considered himself, those collar popping pointy haired douches from Jersey Shore, and John Mayer to be in the top five Douche Bags Of All Time. But James had just taken the top spot.  
  
Who face fucks someone, nearly chokes them with jizz, and then rolls over and pretends to go to sleep without so much as a ‘thank you’ handie?  
  
James fucking Maslow.  
  
Logan coughs again and wipes his mouth with the back of his fist. “I could have died, asshole.” He punches James in the bicep which probably hurts Logan’s hand more than James’s insane muscle mass. The guy doesn’t so much as flinch. Logan yanks on a lock of the pretty princess’s hair, alas, nothing. “I’m replacing all your shampoo with Nair before we go on tour this summer. See who fucks who over and leaves them hanging then, douchenozzle.” Not even a sigh in his fake sleep in response. Giving up on getting anything useful from the ‘sleeping’ giant , Logan face plants down on the other pillow and falls asleep muttering about blue balls, almost dying being a total turn off, and revenge.  
  
~  
  
“Wake up.” It’s cold. It’s too early for this shit, and it’s _cold_. Where the fuck are Logan’s blankets? He gropes around for them and when he tries to pull them back, they don’t budge. “Move it. Go home and sleep in your own bed.” Logan is literally being pushed out of bed.  
  
“Fuck off, _you_ go sleep in your own bed,” hah. Shows him right. Logan is the master of comebacks.  
  
“I am. Get out.” Logan’s whole lower half has begun sliding off the edge of the bed. His toes are already grazing carpet and it’s even colder outside of the not-blankets. Something must be done.  
  
Cuddle mode engage. Logan flips over and latches onto as much of James and the bed that he can touch. James grunts unhappily and Logan may have a hand in his arm pit, which is gross. “You may take my blankets, but you’ll never take my freedom.”  
  
“Whatever, Mel Gibson. Out. Now.”  
  
Logan lands in a heap on the floor because James is a beast who should lay off the gym and eat more Cheetos. The unfortunate part of all this is that Logan had been in the middle of a really nice dream about motor boating a pair of really fantastic tits that didn’t belong to any chick in particular, which made it better because then it’s just boobs and there’s no emotional backlash. But yeah, awesome dream about huge tits and being balls deep in someone’s tight something. Logan loved that his subconscious wasn’t picky, but it did leave him with a boner to take care of right now.  
  
The word revenge stuck out in his mind and there only seemed to be one rational thing to do.

 

~~~~

 

James wakes up to something wet hitting his face. He sputters and wipes at it with his hand and proceeds to just smear it. And then he recognizes the smell.  
  
“Morning sunshine!”  
  
Logan fucking Henderson.  
  
“I hate you, fucker.” James tries to reach out of bed and swat Logan, but the asshole dances away with his cock hanging out.  
  
“But I thought after how nice you were to me last night, you’d love a nice soothing facial this morning!” Logan says with mock upset. “You don’t love it? I spent so long preparing it! A whole night’s worth of time. I just wanted to show you how much our time together means to me.” James heaves a sigh. He does kind of deserve this, but Logan doesn’t need the benefit of being right.  
  
“I get it, you’re mad-“  
  
“Why would I ever be mad about nearly being suffocated by a huge dick and then being left to finish myself off?” Logan makes grandiose hand motions because he is occasionally a prissy over dramatic bitch. “You left money on the night stand, didn’t you- oh wait, that’s right, I’m not actually a prostitute.”  
  
“No, you’re a cockslut and I was tired. I’ll get you back next time, shit man, get over it.” They’re both a little bit actually annoyed with each other, but most of this is normal banter. Well, normal banter plus come drying on James’s face.  
  
“I would have, but on top of it you stole all the blankets and then kicked me out of bed. And you’re not even going to buy me breakfast.” Logan is honestly pouting a little. It’s sort of cute, but James should be more annoyed with Logan right now for being all sensitive. James scoots out of bed and into the little bathroom off the side of the master bedroom, splashing water on his face.  
  
“I’ll buy you an Egg McMuffin on the way to work,” he calls back into the bedroom while working come out of his hair because Logan knows it pisses him off.  
  
“And coffee. Then we’re even,” Logan yells back while James towels his face dry.  
  
“Whatever. Get out of my bed.” In the few second James was gone, Logan has cocooned himself up in the blanket. “I will use force if needed. You know I will.”  
  
“See if I care you big brute. I’ve already established myself as the alpha male. I fucking owed you. Boom, jizz shot to the face.” A little finger gun pops out from all the blankets and fires at James. He bites Logan’s finger because it’s there and he can. Upon release, Logan slaps him quick and light on the cheek before his hand disappears back into the cocoon of blankets.  
  
James decides it’s going to be a really weird day.


End file.
